


Can I Say It Now?

by Shriamato



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Mommy!Adam, discussion of past mpreg, friendship fic, kinkmeme fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:45:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shriamato/pseuds/Shriamato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The problem, Adam figures, was thinking that he'd be able to control what comes out of a five year old's mouth. He really should've known better, especially since the said five year old was his own flesh and blood. He's twenty six, and he has a hard time controlling what comes out of his own mouth. The lack of filter must be genetic or something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can I Say It Now?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the aianonlovefest kink meme prompt: "I'd love to see a fic where Adam has a daughter (somewhere between four and six, preferably, so she's old enough to know her situation is unique, and is used to people asking "stupid questions" about her family life), that he carried and gave birth to, and she calls him "Mommy". Adam still tries out for AI, but now has the added burden of trying to not only carry the "gay" label, but also trying to fit into the role of "single father" instead of "single mother", because the public wouldn't take it well.
> 
> Kris overhears a private moment between Adam and his daughter, where she calls him Mommy... and it's up to the writer where it goes from there."
> 
> Originally posted on my livejournal account shri_amato, back in 2010.

The problem, Adam figures, was thinking that he'd be able to control what comes out of a five year old's mouth. He really should've known better, especially since the said five year old was his own flesh and blood. He's twenty six, and he has a hard time controlling what comes out of his own mouth. The lack of filter must be genetic or something.  
  
He watches from the stage as his mom puts her hand over Tara's mouth, leaning down to whisper something in her ear. His girl doesn't look happy about it, but she nods solemnly and turns back to look at him, very carefully forming the words so he can see. "I love you, _Daddy_."  
  
Adam smiles sadly and blows her a kiss, wondering for the hundredth time if this was the right thing to do.  
  
*  
  
Back at the Mansion after the show with the rest of the contestants families slowly making their way out the door, she clings to him, running her fingers through his loose hair, and whispering quietly in his ear that she misses his glitter. He holds her a little tighter and tries not to cry when Lil comes over and starts cooing over Tara, and asking her what she thought of her _Daddy_ 's performance.  
  
Tara just looks at her with a blank expression, before tucking her face into his neck.  
  
"Poor thing must be tired," Lil says, rubbing her back gently. "All this excitement is overwhelming, huh?"  
  
Adam forces a smile, and nods quickly. "Yes, it's been a long day for her. I should probably go find my mom, so this little girl can get to bed."  
  
He turns quickly and heads toward the kitchen, where he'd last seen his parents, while Tara reaches little fingers up to trace the simple black gauge in his ear, humming Tracks Of My Tears softly under her breath.  
  
*  
  
At the front door, while Lelia goes to pull the car around, he sets Tara down and sits on the floor in front of her. She crosses her arms over her chest and looks him dead in the eye, and he fights back a smile as she huffs. "Can I say it now?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
She sighs heavily and he can _see_ her trying not to stomp her foot as she says "I don't like this."  
  
He leans forward enough to rest his forehead against her folded arms. "I don't like this, either," he tells her, nuzzling until she relents and wraps her arms around his head instead, fingers sinking into his hair. "But you know why we have to."  
  
"Cause stupid people are stupid and ask stupid questions," she says quickly, and uses her grip on his hair to pull him back enough to look at him. "And because you need to become a famous rock star so you can buy me a pony and a puppy and a kitty, and a doll house for me to keep Cheeks in."  
  
Adam blinks up at her in mock confusion. "Wait... you're going to keep Brad in a doll house?"  
  
Tara rolls her eyes and grins. "No! My teddy bear, mo... moron."  
  
Adam snorts and behind them someone gasps. Adam turns and Danny's standing there, disbelief written all over his face. "You let your daughter call you moron?!"  
  
Tara giggles and Adam quirks an eyebrow. "Private convo, dude. Do you mind?"  
  
Danny opens his mouth to say something else, but apparently thinks better of it, turning and walking out of the foyer.  
  
Adam turns back to his daughter and grins. "Oh, close call there, girlfriend," he says, poking her lightly in the ribs. She laughs and throws her arms around his neck. "Tell you what. I should have Sunday off. We'll see if Grandma can bring you over, and we'll do something together, just me and you."  
  
"Pinky promise?" she asks, lifting one hand up without pulling away from him.  
  
He links his own pinky through hers, and presses a kiss to her hair. "Pinky promise."  
  
*  
  
Sunday comes quickly enough, though the way Tara carried on during their nightly phone calls made him think she really didn't agree there. She's been begging him to braid her hair for her, cause Grandma Leila doesn't do it the right way, and she's never ever letting Uncle Neil near her hair again.  
  
First thing she says when he opens the car door to lift her out is "Can I say it now?"  
  
He shakes his head quickly, looking over his shoulder, before leaning down to pick up her bag. "Not yet."  
  
"You forgot Cheeks," she says, pointing to the back seat where the stuffed bear wearing a pink tutu was laying. "Then when can I say it?"  
  
Leila reaches over the backseat to toss Cheeks out to Adam, and grins. "Have fun, kids."  
  
Adam gives a quick wave, and slams the back door closed with his hip, hands full with little girls and teddy bears.  
  
Tara tugs on his hair. " _Daddy_ ," she whines. "You didn't answer me. When can I say it?"  
  
Adam sighs and turns to walk up to the front door. "Soon, baby girl. Real soon."  
  
*  
  
He already knows the girls have gone shopping, seeing as Alli was begging him to go with them yesterday, but he'd declined, saying he already had a hot date planned. He'd asked Kris earlier that week if he'd mind vacating the bedroom for a few hours, so him and Tara could have a little time alone.  
  
Most of the guys are in the living room, crowded around the TV, but there's no sign of Kris.  
  
"Hey, have you guys seen Kris at all?" he asks, while Tara squirms down to try sneaking up behind Matt to steal his hat. Matt pretends to be oblivious when Anoop helps her scale the back of the couch.  
  
"Yeah, dude. I think he was out back by the pool, talking to Katy," he says, shifting slightly so that as soon as Tara's hands touch his hat, he's able to grab her and flip her over onto his lap. "Gotcha, you little hat thief!"  
  
She squeals with laughter as Matt tickles her, and Adam grins. "Alright, kiddo, how about we go see what movies Grandma sent for us to watch."  
  
She clamors off the couch with a grin, and grabs Adam's hand to drag him toward the stairs. "We brought Cinderella, and Snow White and Ariel. I like Ariel's hair the best. It's really red, like Allison's." she pauses for a moment and turns to him, eyes wide. "Is Allison a mermaid?"  
  
Adam grins and wraps an arm around her waist, swinging her up over his shoulder. "I don't know. I guess we'll have to ask her, won't we?"  
  
She nods against his shoulder and whispers "Is it soon yet?"  
  
"Almost."  
  
A pause. "Now?"  
  
He grins, picking up the pace a little. "Almost."  
  
A groan. " _Now_?"  
  
His and Kris' bedroom door is shut, and he twists a little, trying to  untangle his hand from the bag strap enough to get it around the doorknob. "Almost, almost, almost."  
  
Finally the door opens enough for him to push his way in, moving over to drop Tara unceremoniously onto his bed. She giggles and pushes herself up as he moves back to close the door. "Now, now, now?"  
  
"Almost!" he says, grinning as he toes his shoes off, and flops down on the bed next to her. "Just a second." He squirms around on the bed, fluffing up the pillow under his head and biting back a grin when she glares at him.  
  
"Now?" she demands.  
  
He takes her arm, pulling her down to cuddle up next to him, and presses his smile into her hair. "Okay," he sighs. "Now you can say it."  
  
She beams up at him, and presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek.  
  
"I love you, Mommy."  
  
*  
  
In the bathroom, Kris' eyes go wide, and he drops Adam's container of face cream with a clatter.  
  
*  
  
Both Adam and Tara freeze, and before Adam can even think of opening his mouth Tara breathes out " _oh shit_ " against his neck.  
  
Adam looks down at her for a minute before pushing himself up. "I really need to stop letting you hang out with Cheeks."  
  
She blinks up at him with big, blue eyes. "My teddy bear?" she asks, clutching it to her chest.  
  
Adam just shake his head. "Never mind, baby," he says, getting up off the bed, and taking a couple steps toward the bathroom. "Kris?"  
  
The bathroom door opens slowly, and Kris peeks his head out. "Hey," he says, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck.  
  
Adam crosses his arms over his chest and shifts uncomfortably. "Um, Matt told me you were outside."  
  
"Yeah," Kris nods slowly, taking a step into the room. "I was, but I came back up to grab my guitar, and I was just going to use the bathroom real quick, but I kind of..." he gestures vaguely to the counter with all Adam's cosmetics. "I am _so_ sorry. I know you wanted the room for awhile, and that's totally cool. I'll just get out of your hair now."  
  
"Kris..."  
  
Kris waves his hand dismissively, and moves toward the door. "No, seriously, totally cool. I'll just go, I don't know, work on my song. Or maybe see if the guys are watching anything," he says, flashing a tight smile at Adam.  
  
"No, Kris," Adam starts, but a small huff and thud of feet hitting floor stop him.  
  
Tara marches up to Kris and glares up at him, arms crossed over her chest. "You're not going to be stupid and ask stupid questions, are you?" she demands.  
  
"Um, no," Kris says.  
  
"Good," she says. "And you're not going to be mean to my mom... I mean, dad..." she huffs out a sigh. "You're not going to be mean to your _friend_ , are you?"  
  
Kris just shakes his head mutely.  
  
Tara spins around to look at Adam and throws her hands up. "See? No problem here. Can we watch my movie now, Mommy? _Please_?"  
  
Adam just nods. "Sure, baby girl."  
  
Kris cracks a tiny grin, and slips out of the room.  
  
*  
  
After Leila picks Tara up, Adam slowly makes his way back upstairs to the bedroom. He really doesn't want to deal with this tonight, but he knows if he doesn't, it'll only get worse. And he can't let that happen.  
  
He knocks lightly on the door, before pushing it open, and Kris is up off the bed in an instant. His eyes are still wide, and he opens his mouth to speak, but Adam just holds up a hand and closes the door.  
  
"We need to talk," he says quietly, and Kris goes to say something again. "And by we, I mean me," Adam says quickly, moving to sit on his bed.  
  
Kris nods slowly, and moves to sit back down on his own bed. "Okay," he says. "I'm listening."  
  
"What you heard, earlier..." Adam starts, rubbing his hands together nervously. "If you have a problem with it, you know, that's fine. We can switch roommates or something. But, I need to ask you to not tell anyone else."  
  
He hears Kris get up, but doesn't look until he feels him sit down next to him. "Adam," Kris says, reaching out to still his restless hands. "I don't have a... a problem with it. I admit, it took me a little bit by surprise, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, but," he pauses for a second to lift Adam's chin and look him in the eye. "I don't have a problem, and I wouldn't tell anyone else, even if you didn't ask me to."  
  
Adam breathes in a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Kris."  
  
They sit in silence for a few minutes before Kris starts fidgeting.  
  
"Spit it out already, Kris," Adam sighs.  
  
"Spit what out?" Kris asks, staring down at Adam's hands.  
  
Adam snorts. "Oh, I could go so many places with that."  
  
Kris grins, and elbows Adam in the side. "Jerk."  
  
"Seriously, whatever it is you want to ask, just ask it," Adam says, turning to face Kris on the bed.  
  
"But what if it's a stupid question, and then Tara has to come and beat me up?"  
  
"You're scared of a five year old, Allen?" Adam asks, quirking his eyebrow with a grin.  
  
"When that five year old is Tara Lambert, very much so," Kris says, nodding his head decisively. "She could totally kick my ass."  
  
"And look totally fabulous doing it," Adam agrees. "But you're avoiding the subject. You obviously want to ask something, and if it's a stupid question, I'll tell you and you can take it back. Tara will never find out," he promises, poking Kris in the side. "So, spit it out already."  
  
Kris nods slowly. "Okay. You're actually her... ya know," he trails off.  
  
"Her mother? Yes," Adam says, focusing on picking the polish off his nails. "I carried her for nine months, and went through the extremely painful process of giving birth to her."  
  
"But you're not..."  
  
"A woman? Fuck no," Adam laughs. "I was born with this dick, thank you very much."  
  
"So what... you're a hermaphrodite?" Kris asks.  
  
Adam shrugs. "Something like that. It's more a... monthly thing, I guess. Like a mentral cycle, except with no blood, and I just get really horny."  
  
"How did you find out?"  
  
"It's not like it's some rare thing. A lot of guys are like this. It's just not so common that it's something I think is the American public's business," Adam says. "Hell, between my being gay and this, they'd probably rather see me plastered all over their TVs in drag every week."  
  
Kris nods at that. "So, the guy from those pictures... is he the father?"  
  
Adam grins. "No, no. Brad was after I had Tara. Besides, Brad isn't really the, uh, toppy type."  
  
"Oh," Kris says. "So the father isn't in the picture?"  
  
"Um, no," Adam says, cringing a little bit. "To be perfectly honest, he was never anything more then the sperm doner. Wasn't even my type, but... I wanted a baby so bad. He was pretty, had good genes," he shrugs. "My mom was ready to kill me when I came home pregnant, let me tell you."  
  
"Aren't you afraid that will all this going on, he might end up trying to sell this to the media?" Kris asks, concern obvious in his eyes.  
  
Adam shakes his head. "Nah, we had an agreement from the start. I wouldn't ever come after him for child support, and he wouldn't ever sell me out when I became famous. He breaks his end of the deal, and I sue his ass for all he's worth," he says. "Besides, I really don't think he wants his pretty little wife finding out about this."  
  
"No, probably not," Kris laughs and Adam feels something loosen in his chest.  
  
He leans forward and rests his head against Kris' shoulder. "You're good friend, Kris," he says. "It seriously took Brad three days to calm the fuck down enough in order for me to explain when he first heard Tara call me mommy... and then about five minutes after that to insist on being called Auntie Cheeks."  
  
*  
  
By the time the finale comes around, Tara has Kris wrapped around her little finger. Adam's happy to be standing next to Kris, not only because he's been so awesome about, well, _everything_ , but because he has a feeling that if Danny had stuck around any longer, Tara probably would've kicked his ass. She just cannot stand stupid questions, and that seemed to be all Danny had for her.  
  
They're all gathered backstage before the show starts, getting reacquainted, and while Adam loves them all (or, most of them) to death, he really just wants a minute along with his girl. Hard to do when he's got Alli surgically attached to his side, though.  
  
Tara has one hand tangled in Alli's hair, and the other in Adam's, while she and Allison carry on an animated conversation about who the best princess is. Though they both agree that Ariel's hair rocks.  
  
Stage hands start calling for places, and Leila's there to take Tara and everyone's wishing both Adam and Kris the best of luck, and all Adam wants is to hear one thing...  
  
"Hey, guys, why don't we give Adam a second alone with Tara, huh? She looks like she's getting a little overwhelmed here," Kris says, prying Alli away and shooting Adam a grin. Adam mouths a quick thank you back, and moves to an empty corner where they're out of the way.  
  
Tara looks at him, hands wound through his hair, and he doesn't even care that it's getting a little messed up. "Can I say it now?" she whispers, and Adam smiles.  
  
"Yeah, baby girl, you can say it."  
  
She leans in and presses a kiss to his cheek.  
  
"I love you, Mommy."  
  
No matter what happens that night, Adam already knows... he's the luckiest mother in the world.


End file.
